Jagged Jade here: Greetings to my longtime reader's & to the new: "I dare you to get to know me" I bid you adieu! After a short hiatus from blogging, indeed I was questioning if my work would in fact, be worthwhile for anyone.I will continue to blog, amazing in itself, I really did think I might not blog again. My heart it lives, it cries & upon awaking it dies, a thousand little deaths follow me everyday.
Just staying positive, a most important component to the 'happy life' is immensely difficult these days. A duality exists between myself and I. The heart has needs, for me- to be of peace and love & to accept that I am a gushy, sensitive person. The heart, Much more than simply a human organ, the viability of the heart goes much deeper than mere valves or arteries even beyond the functions it performs.
Needing to figure out a way to survive as an incomplete person, a mother missing her youngest child I will never get back, so new to grief as this, new to such utter despair smoked by loneliness. Searching in silence for someone no longer there. while a new life begins one replete of unending questions & gripped in a grief hold. I realize the permanence things can never be changed, only argued. This mind of mine plays a terrible and tragic game unto itself~ like an old album skipping, replaying unending- questions without answers, this is my new life.
Delving constantly & deeper into major discomfort, I now understand how many heart's do continually break. Feeling like a searing wound, open and nerves exposed, a grief so great it infinite. Masquerading am but I; I awaken just to cry, I Dispel the "fact" / tho' some believe/ somewhere in time "one will simply heal" That will never be. A case, in fact, I know from his face: His sweet warm eyes, his smile, and gentle laugh, he resides in our memory entwining relentless throughout our life path.
Photo: Ian Bryson, RIP, I love you, my son.
